Expressions

Next person who uses the expressions "My bad", "Don't go there", "like I mean, it's like" or "it rocks"... OR starts a sentence with the words "basically" or "obviously" is going to be tarred and feathered and forced to listen to the Justin Bieber Christmas album. Furthermore if anyone uses the expression "I agree 110 percent", they will receive likewise punishment.

The Royals (William's Wedding Day, 2011)

The Royals. I don’t get it. Prince Willy’s going bald. You’d think with all that money he’d get a transplant or a rug. They do great rugs now. You wouldn’t even know he was wearing one. And how about Charlie? He’s grey now. Why doesn’t he just go to Coles and get a rinse?

And as for the wedding. So spectacular! Can you imagine the size of the hors d’oeuvres they’d have? Top shelf. Extravagant. I’m sure Willy’s just looking at his watch the whole time thinking “Christ, I just wanted a small thing out in the backyard. This is massive.”

Doctors Part One

Why is it, when you're sitting in the waiting room, and the doctor calls you, the first thing they say - even before you've walked down the hallway to their office - is "Hi. How are you?".

What do they expect me to say?

"Great! How are you?!?"

Yeah, that's right. I want to spend $65 sitting in their office telling them how great I feel.

For $65 you wan't to feel crap. You just have to.

Everybody Loves Raymond (Not Me)

I was a big fan of Seinfeld in the 90's. Huge fan. This show reinvented the sitcom. But there were a lot of sitcoms that tried to recreate the Seinfeld phenomenon. Friends  was one. Everybody Loves Raymond was the other. All three sitcoms had a huge following, and ended with a big lead up to the finale.

I never caught on to the whole Raymond thing when it was in its original run. So I thought it was time to actually watch it, and see what the big deal was about. If it was anything like Seinfeld, I'd be happy.

I'm not happy. I'm sticking with it though. I'm now watching the last season. Here are some valid points:

• It's not funny.
• It has no insight and delves deep into no issues.
• Each episode seems to end with a big argument, with someone finding out that someone lied.
• Why don't they just move away from Raymond's parents? Or at least stand up to them? Makes the whole premis contrived.
• The children are irrelevant characters.
• The whole show seems to be one huge mountain out of a mole hill. King Of Queens is heaps better.

Social Awkwardness

Being asked out to dinner can be quite irritating, especially when you're trying to count calories and be a sensible eater. You can't really say, "well, I'll come to dinner, but I won't eat". Then when you go, they keep encouraging you: "just have some more", "why are you having that? That's not enough".

When someone offers to take you out for dinner to celebrate an occasion, you can't really say no. So you go, and you're miserable, and you know you're only there because someone else thinks they're doing a nice thing for you. No, in fact, if you want to do a nice thing, DON'T take me out for dinner.

The Chain Of Command

Back at work today, after three blissful weeks holiday.

Why is it that no matter how high you go the ladder in your workplace, there's still someone above you that wants to bring you down?

I've also found that there is more pressure on you when you get to a higher point. When you have no experience, people guide you. If you make a mistake, it's no big deal.

When you get the experience, people expect you to know things. If you make a mistake they say you should have known better.

The higher you go, the degree of mistakes, no matter how big or small, is really highlighted.